Not a good time …

October 29, 2008

So I’m writing this while on a two Pepsi binge and about five hours of actual sleep … Oh yeah, this is going to be fun;)

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So I shaved off my beard today and boy do I look weird. The funny thing is when I went to shave my face today, I didn’t intend to shave off my facial hair. I was just trimming it and then I trimmed too much on one side and attempted to compensate on the other side and before you know it, I was throwing my beard trimmer against the wall and using the razor to take care of few remaining hairs I had left on my face.

However losing a beard that I’ve had for the past several months wasn’t the worse thing. Oh nooooo….

When I came into work my wife — who had just seen me not two hours prior with a beard — didn’t even notice right away that my facial hair was missing. No, it took her at least a couple of hours and then she made the following remark — “Has your beard been missing all day?”

Nice to know that after nearly 10 years together, she still notices any major change that I may make to my appearance. Thanks sweetie ….

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My son has finally started calling me “daddy” instead of “hey you, strange person who is not my mommy.” And while this is a good thing, the other night he decided to start saying “daddy” while crying. Why was he crying? Because his mommy was trying to put him to bed and he thought daddy would help him so he could stay up longer. Oh, did I mention it was late at night, like say 11 p.m.? (Just so everybody knows, he had a late nap which messed up his usual routine). Yeah … like I was going to get in the middle of that …..

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So I just got Final Crisis #4 and after reading it, I can now see where Grant Morrison is going with this story. I will say that I was mildly disappointed with the first issue in this mini-series, but now I’m really interested to see where this story goes over the next three months.

While I am a huge Brian Michael Bendis fan, I was mildly disappointed with how the last storyarc in the second volume of Powers ended. I was really expecting more from the story other than just 30 pages of dialogue and no real action.

Trying a new author right now — Gregg Hurwitz. Just picked up his novel “The Kill Clause” a couple of days ago. A little slow going so far, but as soon as I’m more awake I plan on making a better effort to get through it.

OK … it’s nap time now. Keep smiling folks:)

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How my brain works ….

October 22, 2008

I crave pizza.

I’m wondering how my son got so cute.

I’m realizing I haven’t said “I love you” to my wife enough today.

My job is going better than expected lately.

Why is that woman using a credit card to pay for a pack of gum?

What is this “friend” thing I keep hearing about?

Keith Olbermann really is MSNBC’s version of Bill O’Reilly.

These are just some of the thoughts that cross my mind when I get bored.

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So my wife scolded me the other day when I got the Iron Man movie on DVD. Mainly she was irritated that I had purchased the DVD since my birthday is about a month away. You see, I have this issue with purchasing stuff before my birthday, especially items that my wife has her eyes set on getting me as a birthday present. This leads her to believe that she will not have anything to get me for a birthday present. My way of thinking is I have her and our son — that’s enough of a gift for me.

I made a new friend a few months ago through a long-time friend of my wife. He and I share the same interests — we’re both nerds; we love comic books; our wives are two of the most important people in our lives; and we love being dads. However, my wife and I are keeping him, his wife and their child in our prayers a lot lately. You see, he’s going to be deployed to Iraq soon and we just pray that God keeps him safe.

I crave pizza. …. Sorry, I forgot to eat dinner.

Keep smiling folks:)

So I got a new mop recently …..

Yes, I know — my life is so boring that I’m talking about the fact that I got a new f*&(ing mop.

But it is not just any mop — it is a Swiffer wetjet.

Anyway … back to the point, I opened the box up, put it together and spent 10 minutes trying to get it out of the toddler’s hands as he attempted to mop our carpets with it before I actually attempted to use it on the new floors in my kitchen and my bathroom.

However, I noticed that it wasn’t working. So I checked everything again. It was connected together properly. The cleaning solution was put in correctly. The damn thing just wouldn’t spray any of that solution on the floor so I could mop.

Well, after another 20 minutes that consisted of me taking the thing apart and putting it back together, I finally decided to look at the directions.

The blasted thing was missing batteries.

And I use to think that I was a little bit intelligent….

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I had mentioned a couple of posts ago that I had recently purchased Shelby Lynne’s “Just a little lovin'” album. Well I decided to go back and purchase another one of her CDs — Identity Crisis. The album, which came out in 2003, is one of the best country albums I’ve ever heard. I give it the highest recommendation possible. It is a fantastic album that has a good mixture of ballads and high-tempo songs. Best cut on the album — the song “Evil Man.”

You ever hear a song on the radio that you haven’t heard in years and then find yourself singing along with it. I found this happening to myself recently when George Strait’s “Amarillo by Morning” came on the radio. The song was released by 1985 and I can sing along with all the lyrics. It’s kind of funny — I can recite the lyrics to a song that is over 20 years old, yet I can’t remember if I put on socks when I leave the house in the morning:)

So my brother-in-law apologized to my wife for the comments he made about her blog. The man may irritate me from time to time, but it is nice to know that he will apologize when he makes a comment that hurts his sister.

On Sunday, we went down to the in-laws and I found myself again falling asleep on their couch. It was a good sleep that apparently I needed (according to the wife). However, I could have slept for a little longer if the following didn’t happen — I was stirred by the smell of barbecue sauce on my face. I opened my eyes just a little and saw my son smiling. “Hi daddee,” he said … and then he slapped me upside the head. My response — I grabbed him and tickled him. It was the only reasonable response in my mind:)

Keep smiling folks:)

So I was looking at some of the stats that go along with this blog (how many views each post gets, where people are visiting the site from and so on), and one search pattern that caught my eye was this “woman falling in love with a married man.”

It took me at least a day to stop laughing. I still snicker about it now.

First off, who in the heck uses that search topic? Second, why in the $%^& did it direct this person to my blog? I’m not a woman in love with a married man. I’m a man in love with a married woman (my wife … don’t anybody get excited OK?)

Ahh, the joys of the Internet:)

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So my wife writes her own blog (it can be seen at http://www.boondockramblings.typepad.com) and apparently my nitwit of a brother-in-law has a problem with it.

Now let me start off by saying that I do like my brother-in-law — he just has a habit of speaking before he thinks, and he believes that his opinions actually matter.

So anyway …. my brother-in-law called my wife up today (at work nonetheless, something that he has been told numerous times not to do) and decided to tell her that he was going to be putting a post up on his blog criticizing the fact that almost every entry that my wife posts is about our son.

It gets even better — he has apparently complained to my wife when he gets pictures of his nephew (‘why are you sending us so many photos?’ is one of his bigger whines) and then bitches when the other family members get photos and he doesn’t.

So basically what he ended up doing was upsetting my wife and pissing me off.

Neither one of us writes these blogs as a job — this is fun for us. She loves to share stories about our son on her blog because our son is the most important thing in her life right now. So when some dimwitted moron criticizes what we do for fun (and basically, in no uncertain terms, makes little snide remarks about us being proud parents) it pisses me off.

So to my brother-in-law, shut up and grow up.You’re not funny. Hell, in this case, you’re not even being intelligent.

And yes, just so there are no questions about this, this is a shot at you, you schmuck.

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OK …. now with that said, here’s some musings:

Why is it whenever Sarah Palin appears on my TV, the Van Halen song “Hot for Teacher” pops up in my head.

Moved on to Michael Chabon’s “A Model World and other stories.” It is a good collection of short stories, with some duds along the way. I would recommend this only for Chabon completists. However, if there are some people out there who would like to try some of his other books, check out Wonder Boys, The Amazing Adventures of Cavalier and Clay, Summerland, and the Yiddish Policemen’s Union.

Accidentally tuned into The Hills the other day and immediately regretted it. First off, who are these people and why should I care about their lives? I don’t believe they do anything productive except attempt to look hot and cool. I immediately wanted to shoot my TV to keep these people from ever again popping up on it. Here’s a question — if the entire cast of this “show” was in the woods and a tree fell on them, wiping them out, would our collective IQ as a nation go up by at 40 points?

Good God, watching that show was like listening to Jessica Simpson attempt to sing.

And speaking of that abomination, I tuned into the Grand Old Opry the other night (sometimes they have good performers on the show) and had to watch Miss Simpson sashay along the stage wearing a dress that a hooker wouldn’t be caught dead in, and attempt to sing some crap song that immediately makes me change radio stations when I’m in my car. And of course, the dress she was wearing was cut in a way to accentuate the only two reasons why she’s famous. Hey Jessica — isn’t your 15 minutes up yet?

And somebody tell me why people think Dane Cook is funny? And why the hell do they keep putting him in movies? Ugh.

Keep smiling folks:)

A good thing

October 9, 2008

So I was accused of taking some poetic license with the recollections reflected in my last entry. OK, maybe the blood was “stretching it” a little bit. But otherwise, I stand by my story. …. Well, maybe I stand off to the side of it:)

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Had an interesting visitor in my office today. Well, let me preface this story by explaining the events that led to yesterday’s visit. A little over a year ago I did a story about a man from my local area who had died in Ohio. A medical examiner from a city there had contacted me and asked me to put something in the paper about this deceased individual, mainly in order to find some of his family and let them know of his passing. I wrote the story and the next day received a phone call from this medical examiner, telling me that the story had resulted in the man’s family contacting him (the medical examiner). Apparently the family of the deceased individual had fallen out of touch with him about 20 years ago and were sent the article by friends of theirs that still lived in my area.

That same day I had received an e-mail from the deceased gentleman’s brother, thanking me for the story. I used that e-mail in a follow-up story that I printed the next day. A few months later I received a letter from the deceased individual’s sister, who also thanked me for printing the stories on her brother.

Fast forward to yesterday, when the deceased individual’s brother and his wife stopped by my office (they were visiting the area from Mesa, Ariz.) to meet me personally, show me a scrapbook that he had created on his brother’s life (which included my two stories) and to thank me again for those stories as well as tell me a little bit about his brother.

I had tears in my eyes after the pair left because I so touched by what these two people shared with me.

You know, after 14 years in this business, and at some times being ridiculed, insulted and threatened (with lawsuits, not physical violence …. yet) it was really nice to hear from someone about what a good job I did.

Now I don’t want people to think that I’ve never received compliments from people on the stories I’ve written before. I’ve received many, but what these people did and the raw emotion that was etched on their face when talking about their late brother and how much the stories I published meant to them and their family, it brought tears to my eyes. I was really touched by their kindness.

That visit yesterday reminded me that, regardless of the garbage that I sometimes have to deal with because of my job, it is still something that I love to do even after 14 years.

Keep smiling folks:)

First I want to apologize to anyone who read yesterday’s blog and was offended that I used the “F” word significantly in the first paragraph. It was the only word that I could think of to describe my mood. And yes, I did get chastised by my wife. So I’m making a trip to the jewelry store and the candy store for chocolate on my way home….:)

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Anyway … on to the real subject of today’s entry which is my brother-in-law or, as I refer to him as, “the toddler’s b*&^%.”

Now let me get a couple of things out of the way. My brother-in-law is a nice guy — he just has his “moments,” such as when his early on-set alzheimer’s sets in and he forgets that he shouldn’t buy toy swords for a 2-year-old.

Let me set the stage for you – it is a Sunday afternoon at my in-laws house. It is a beautiful day. After eating a fantastic meal (cooked by my mother-in-law, who is the nicest person you will ever meet), I decide to do my Sunday ritual and fall asleep on her couch for a couple of hours.

Two hours later, I’m awaken to a sobbing noise. I look over the couch arm and notice my brother-in-law curled up in the fetal position, rocking back-and-forth. And he is continuing saying, “he just wouldn’t stop. he just wouldn’t stop,” while blood trickles out of his nose and his left eye begins to swell shut.

From what I was told later by my wife, my brother-in-law took my son outside to play with him. He had brought my son a set of plastic swords and decided to play with my son with these items. And here’s where the memory lapse happened – he forgot that he was dealing with a 2-year-old BOY and promptly got the living hell beat out of him.

I mean, this beating was biblical in nature. It was brutal (I know … my wife videotaped it for me, and yes it was the funniest thing I have ever seen).

So the swords are now safety under my in-laws’ bed, never to be seen again. My brother-in-law has healed, but he still jumps whenever he hears my son walk into the room:)

Keep smiling folks:)

So the Dodgers swept the Cubs: fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…….

If you can’t tell, I’m a Cubs fan:(

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So I was looking at the information for this blog — such as which entry gets the most traffic, how many people log in on a day and the such — and I noticed that the blog in which received the most traffic was the one I wrote about an encounter with my high school crush.

And that got me wondering — do people really want to read something like that? I mean, I lead a pretty boring life. My wife is good. My son is good. I’m going bald. There really isn’t interesting that I could write about from that kind of personal perspective.

Now I could write about what kind of idiot I was when I was younger (and trust me, ‘idiot’ is the nicest term that I could come up when describing what I was like when I was a teen-ager. Ugh), but I figured that I would either be too hard on myself or I would try to gloss over just how much of a twit I was.

Then I thought, “why don’t I write about my past relationships?” I could, but considering how I’ve only been with two women in the past 12 years (I’ve been with my wife for nearly 10 of those), I figured that I might bore some people.

Then I remembered that the woman I dated before my wife was a raving psycho-bitch and that detailing the ups-and-downs of that huge pothole in my life might make for entertaining reading for people who need a good laugh. I get a laugh out of it today when I remember just how stupid I was back then.

But that’s a post for another time. Now it’s on to the musings …….

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Caught an interesting movie called “Bully” Sunday night on IFC. It stars Nick Stahl and Brad Renfro, and is about a group of kids that decide to kill a bully. It is really a dark film that I just couldn’t turn away from. The film is based on the 1993 murder of Bobby Kent in Cooper City, Florida. I will recommend it, but it is not for the faint of heart.

So The Shield is going to end, Burn Notice won’t be back with new episodes until December and Rescue Me and Battlestar Galactica won’t be back until next year. These sad facts led me to search for a new show that I could burn an hour a week watching and not have my intelligence insulted. Which brought me to FX’s Sons of Anarchy. This show, about a biker club in Northern California, is fantastic. It is essentially a modern version of Hamlet. Ron Perelman and Katy Sagal are both fantastic. I highly recommend this show.

Just read the second volume of Scalped, which contains the next six issues of the series (6-11) and focuses on the perspective from six different people on the opening of the casino on The Rez. Jason Aaron is crafting a fantastic series here and I am truly looking forward to the third volume.

Finished reading The Wheelman by Duane Swierczynski and LaBrava by Elmore Leonard. The Wheelman was a fantastic read and led into Swierczynski’s other novel The Blonde. LaBrava was actually one of Leonard’s weaker novels in my opinion. The first two-thirds of the novel were kind of bland, but it picked up for the final act. Not his best work, but not the worse novel I have ever read (that award still belongs to Nelson Demille’s By the Rivers of Babylon).

Well, that’s it for now folks. Keep smiling:)